The great Roy Edroso has a post up about the latest load of crap excreted by Charles Murray, author of The Bell Curve, one of the most despicable books of recent years.
There's also a link to a quiz Murray has concocted that purports to assess the reader's isolation from Real America. You know, the land of NASCAR, American Idol, chain restaurants, and so forth.
The quiz itself is crap that would get an 'F' from any statistics instructor, but in the interest of science, I went ahead and took it. I scored a 30, which makes me "A first-generation upper-middle-class person with middle-class parents. Range: 11–80. Typical: 33"
My Chesterfield-smoking, Schlitz-drinking, high-school dropout father woulda been proud.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Continuing State of Perplexity That Comes With Owning a Car
Apparently, it's possible to cut the power to your car by closing the glove compartment.
Exactly how this happened continues to puzzle me, but after a few minutes, I opened the hood and jiggled the battery cables. Presto, the power came back and the car started.
If it happens again, this may be my big chance to make it onto Car Talk.
Exactly how this happened continues to puzzle me, but after a few minutes, I opened the hood and jiggled the battery cables. Presto, the power came back and the car started.
If it happens again, this may be my big chance to make it onto Car Talk.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
How to Miss an Open Goal
In recent years, my sports-watching on television has been largely limited to baseball, and more recently, soccer. After a regular diet of English Premier League, Champions League, and of course, the World Cup, I can fancy myself something of a connoisseur of goal-scoring. Furthermore, I can also claim to be an expert on the art of not scoring.
With goals being at a premium in most soccer games, the potential goals that are not scored loom as large as those that are scored. In many cases, of course, missing a goal is simply a matter of the keeper making the save, or when the offensive player simply isn’t able to convert a difficult chance.
Many times, though, the potential goal scorer has no one to blame but himself for missing. Those misses fall into many categories, but to an educated eye (such as mine), three particular types of misses stand out:
1. The Bendtner: When the player’s self-confidence exceeds his skill. In most cases, the result here is good work to get into a goal-scoring position, frequently with a good first touch, but after that, hilarity often ensues, usually in the form of a weak shot or a scuff. This could also be seen as the Dunning-Kruger effect, as applied to soccer.
Usage example – “That was a nice buildup, but then he Bendtnered it five yards wide of the post.”
2. The Carroll: Here, the striker, typically a large, awkward, yet hard-working and likable player, is undine by a first touch akin to an arthritic elephant being asked to tap-dance. Often as not, he fails to even get a shot off, such is the lack of technical skill.
Usage example – “Oh, dear. He put himself into a good position, but once the ball got to his feet, he did a Carroll and never even got the shot off.”
The Carroll is a descendant of the Heskey, wherein the striker, in addition to the aforementioned awkwardness, has the touch of a blacksmith.
3. The Torres: This is truly the most agonizing of misses to watch. The striker shows both great technical skill and a silky first touch, but somehow contrives to miss the goal. In many instances, the term ‘sitter’ applies, as in “He could’ve scored that one sitting down.”
Usage example – “JESUS CHRIST! How on earth could he have missed that? The goal at his mercy and the keeper beaten, and he put it over the bar! What a Torres!”
The beauty of these terms is that they can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adjective. Try it yourself.
However, please refrain from throwing your remote at the TV when one of these misses takes place.
With goals being at a premium in most soccer games, the potential goals that are not scored loom as large as those that are scored. In many cases, of course, missing a goal is simply a matter of the keeper making the save, or when the offensive player simply isn’t able to convert a difficult chance.
Many times, though, the potential goal scorer has no one to blame but himself for missing. Those misses fall into many categories, but to an educated eye (such as mine), three particular types of misses stand out:
1. The Bendtner: When the player’s self-confidence exceeds his skill. In most cases, the result here is good work to get into a goal-scoring position, frequently with a good first touch, but after that, hilarity often ensues, usually in the form of a weak shot or a scuff. This could also be seen as the Dunning-Kruger effect, as applied to soccer.
Usage example – “That was a nice buildup, but then he Bendtnered it five yards wide of the post.”
2. The Carroll: Here, the striker, typically a large, awkward, yet hard-working and likable player, is undine by a first touch akin to an arthritic elephant being asked to tap-dance. Often as not, he fails to even get a shot off, such is the lack of technical skill.
Usage example – “Oh, dear. He put himself into a good position, but once the ball got to his feet, he did a Carroll and never even got the shot off.”
The Carroll is a descendant of the Heskey, wherein the striker, in addition to the aforementioned awkwardness, has the touch of a blacksmith.
3. The Torres: This is truly the most agonizing of misses to watch. The striker shows both great technical skill and a silky first touch, but somehow contrives to miss the goal. In many instances, the term ‘sitter’ applies, as in “He could’ve scored that one sitting down.”
Usage example – “JESUS CHRIST! How on earth could he have missed that? The goal at his mercy and the keeper beaten, and he put it over the bar! What a Torres!”
The beauty of these terms is that they can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adjective. Try it yourself.
However, please refrain from throwing your remote at the TV when one of these misses takes place.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Today's observation
When doing prescribed exercises to relieve a pinched nerve in the neck, said exercises are made more difficult when one cat decides to sit on my chest and intently monitor my progress, and the other cat decides that the time is right to groom my hair.
Friday, January 13, 2012
All hail the iPod, part 1
Random music for a Friday commute:
1. Moonage Daydream - David Bowie - Sound + Vision I
2. Three Places in New England 1. The "Saint-Gaudens" in Boston Common - Orpheus Chamber Orchestra - Ives: A Set of Pieces
3. Look For Me (I'll Be Around) - Neko Case - Blacklisted
4. Why Baby Why - Kevin Welch & Deborah Pierce - Caught in the Webb
5. Rock 'N' Roll Queen (Medley) - Mott The Hoople - Live (CD2 - Broadway)
6. Up From the Skies [take 2 - Alternate Take] - Gil Evans - The Gil Evans Orchestra Plays the Music of Jimi Hendrix
7. Dupre: Three Preludes And Fugues Op 7 - Prelude In F Minor - Robert Quinney, organ - The Organ of Westminster Cathedral: Robert Quinney Plays Brahms, Wagner & Dupre
8. Howard Hughes - Ride - Twisterella
9. Tsmindao Chmerto - Rustavi Choir - Georgian Voices
10. Venus - John Coltrane - Interstellar Space
11. Megalodon - Mastodon - Leviathan
12. Houses Of The Holy - Led Zeppelin - Latter Days: Best Of Led Zeppelin, Vol.2
13. The Magic Mitt of Jason Byles - The Baseball Project - Volume 2: High and Inside
While my musical taste remains immaculate, it could also stand some new blood.
1. Moonage Daydream - David Bowie - Sound + Vision I
2. Three Places in New England 1. The "Saint-Gaudens" in Boston Common - Orpheus Chamber Orchestra - Ives: A Set of Pieces
3. Look For Me (I'll Be Around) - Neko Case - Blacklisted
4. Why Baby Why - Kevin Welch & Deborah Pierce - Caught in the Webb
5. Rock 'N' Roll Queen (Medley) - Mott The Hoople - Live (CD2 - Broadway)
6. Up From the Skies [take 2 - Alternate Take] - Gil Evans - The Gil Evans Orchestra Plays the Music of Jimi Hendrix
7. Dupre: Three Preludes And Fugues Op 7 - Prelude In F Minor - Robert Quinney, organ - The Organ of Westminster Cathedral: Robert Quinney Plays Brahms, Wagner & Dupre
8. Howard Hughes - Ride - Twisterella
9. Tsmindao Chmerto - Rustavi Choir - Georgian Voices
10. Venus - John Coltrane - Interstellar Space
11. Megalodon - Mastodon - Leviathan
12. Houses Of The Holy - Led Zeppelin - Latter Days: Best Of Led Zeppelin, Vol.2
13. The Magic Mitt of Jason Byles - The Baseball Project - Volume 2: High and Inside
While my musical taste remains immaculate, it could also stand some new blood.
Monday, January 9, 2012
The future starts last week
Theo Epstein and his lieutenants were busy last week.
On Thursday, the long-expected departure of Carlos Zambrano finally occurred, as he was dealt to the formerly-Florida-but-now-Miami Marlins for what appears at first to be a pittance. The Cubs received pitcher Chris Volstad. Yep, that’s it.
Furthermore, the Cubs will be paying $15.5 million of Zambrano’s $18 salary for the coming season. Needless to say, Volstad will not be seeing that kind of salary any time soon, or probably any time later.
The Cubs, then, traded a 30-year old with 125 career wins and an ERA+ of 122 for a 24-year old with 32 wins and an ERA+ of 90. Even accounting for the age difference, it doesn’t seem like a particularly good deal.
However, there’s more here. Zambrano, of course, is well-known for having, shall we say, psychological issues. These issues, along with some minor injuries, have caused him to average about 150 innings in each of the past three seasons. More worrying, his WHIP has risen during this time, and his strikeout rate last season was his worst since his rookie year.
All this is a long-winded way of saying that Epstein needed to dump Zambrano, and did just that. Zambrano may well bounce back this season, as he’ll be pitching for Ozzie Guillen, and theoretically will have something to prove, but it’s also likely he’ll have a meltdown and miss half the season.
Thursday’s trade was followed on Friday by another trade that is pure Moneyball. The Cubs sent pitcher Andrew Cashner to the Padres for Anthony Rizzo, a large young first baseman, who pummeled Triple-A to the tune of 331/404/652 in 2011, but in a two-month major league stint, not-pummeled the NL at a 141/281/242 clip. Rizzo is clearly the first baseman of the future, and furthermore, is a former Red Sox prospect, who was traded last winter for Adrian Gonzalez. If any evidence is needed that the Epstein regime will follow the established formula used in Boston, this is it.
On Thursday, the long-expected departure of Carlos Zambrano finally occurred, as he was dealt to the formerly-Florida-but-now-Miami Marlins for what appears at first to be a pittance. The Cubs received pitcher Chris Volstad. Yep, that’s it.
Furthermore, the Cubs will be paying $15.5 million of Zambrano’s $18 salary for the coming season. Needless to say, Volstad will not be seeing that kind of salary any time soon, or probably any time later.
The Cubs, then, traded a 30-year old with 125 career wins and an ERA+ of 122 for a 24-year old with 32 wins and an ERA+ of 90. Even accounting for the age difference, it doesn’t seem like a particularly good deal.
However, there’s more here. Zambrano, of course, is well-known for having, shall we say, psychological issues. These issues, along with some minor injuries, have caused him to average about 150 innings in each of the past three seasons. More worrying, his WHIP has risen during this time, and his strikeout rate last season was his worst since his rookie year.
All this is a long-winded way of saying that Epstein needed to dump Zambrano, and did just that. Zambrano may well bounce back this season, as he’ll be pitching for Ozzie Guillen, and theoretically will have something to prove, but it’s also likely he’ll have a meltdown and miss half the season.
Thursday’s trade was followed on Friday by another trade that is pure Moneyball. The Cubs sent pitcher Andrew Cashner to the Padres for Anthony Rizzo, a large young first baseman, who pummeled Triple-A to the tune of 331/404/652 in 2011, but in a two-month major league stint, not-pummeled the NL at a 141/281/242 clip. Rizzo is clearly the first baseman of the future, and furthermore, is a former Red Sox prospect, who was traded last winter for Adrian Gonzalez. If any evidence is needed that the Epstein regime will follow the established formula used in Boston, this is it.
A man of many talents
Newt Gingrich has now claimed to have beaten the Soviets, invented supply-side economics, balanced the budget with one hand while diddling Callista with the other, and claimed to be an expert on global warming because he knows how to spell 'Haplocanthosaurus'.
This begs the question - isn't being President a bit below his self-judged pay grade?
This begs the question - isn't being President a bit below his self-judged pay grade?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Oozing into contention
For anyone thinking that "gee, maybe Rick Santorum isn't so bad," (and yes, I realize that probably does not include anyone reading this humble space), bear in mind that he doesn't believe that a woman should have the right to choose whether or not to use birth control.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Ooh, helmety
Just you wait and see. When it's First Lady Callista, "helmet-hair" will make its long-overdue comeback.
That hair could probably stop a bullet.
That hair could probably stop a bullet.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The excitement is palpable!
New Year's Day has been so far spent:
- Watching Sunderland beat Manchester City.
- Observing that, aside from their ears, dachshunds are generally wind-resistant.
- Making chili.
- Watching a Three Stooges marathon.
Now, we drink beer.
- Watching Sunderland beat Manchester City.
- Observing that, aside from their ears, dachshunds are generally wind-resistant.
- Making chili.
- Watching a Three Stooges marathon.
Now, we drink beer.
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